How Friendship Investments Can Yield a Lifetime of Joy

The case for treating friendships like an essential part of your portfolio

When most people think about building wealth, they picture investment accounts, savings rates, and compound interest. But what if I told you that your richest asset isn’t in your portfolio, it’s in your phone contacts?

This year, one of my “Great Life Goals” was to have 90+ visits with friends. I doubled my goal from last year. Why? It wasn’t an arbitrary number. It was a reflection of the kind of wealth I want to build: the kind that can’t be counted in dollars but shows up in stories, support, and shared laughter when life gets complicated.

At just over halfway through the year, I’ve already had 45 friend visits, each one reinforcing a core truth of the Surprising Wealth journey: the assets that matter most aren’t always the ones you can measure on a spreadsheet.  I like to think of them as “high-yield friendship investments”. Most of these visits with friends were low or no cost opportunities: to chat in the living room, to hike local trails or walk the neighborhood, to share a home cooked meal, to run errands together, to tackle a home or auto project. Others were frugel splurges: Renting a car when our vehicle had a breakdown the day before a roadtrip, splurging on gourmet slices of cake from a friends favorite bakery, purchasing items from a friend’s small business.

Small Investments, Lasting Returns

Here are just a few examples of those benefits have shown up this year: A road trip to visit friends who moved to a new town, where we splurged on good food but spent most of our time walking historic streets and talking around the kitchen island, the livingroom or on their front porch. Or a quiet evening helping local friends brainstorm and rearrange their furniture, and then playing board games with a decent but not fancy bottle of wine. Even a spontaneous hour-long conversation with a neighbor on a weekday walk reminded me that connection doesn’t always require planning, just presence. Despite planning to get home to fix a meal, I changed my mind and stayed to talk when the neighbor started sharing about some family health scares and then their excitement about a new business venture they were starting. It felt both important and fulfilling to me to be there to hold space with them and show I cared. It was a deliberate decision to change my schedule because I value the friendship and community.

These moments cost almost nothing but created memories that still make me smile months later. In Surprising Wealth terms, these are the experiences that prove you don’t need to defer joy until financial independence. You can build a rich life right now through intentional relationships (while you build your financial wealth in the background).

Next up, lets look at the science of these “high-yield friendship investments.”

The Research Behind Relationship Wealth

Here’s where it gets really interesting: science backs up what SlowFI advocates have always known about true wealth.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development (one of the longest-running studies on human well-being) found that close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy and healthy over the long term. Dr. Robert Waldinger, the study’s current director, put it simply: “Good relationships don’t just protect our bodies; they protect our brains.” [1]

Think about that for a moment. Your friendship network is literally protecting your most valuable asset, your cognitive health, in ways that your retirement account simply cannot.

Psychologist Julianne Holt-Lunstad found that people with strong social ties have a 50% greater chance of survival than those without. Social disconnection, she notes, poses a greater risk to your health than obesity or smoking. [2] In terms of life expectancy ROI, your social connections might be your most valuable insurance policy.

Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman discovered that people consistently rank time with friends and loved ones as the most joyful use of their day. [3] And economist Robert Putnam argued that happiness is most strongly predicted by the quality of our social ties. [4]

These aren’t just emotional observations, they’re measurable indicators of health, resilience, and well-being. Health is wealth, and your relationships are a direct investment in both.

These studies have found that close relationships are one of the strongest predictors of long-term happiness and health. Social capital, your network of mutual support and trust, is a key protective factor against stress, loneliness, and even physical decline. Investing in relationships is quite literally good for your body and mind.

At Surprising Wealth, we believe that your most valuable assets aren’t just on a spreadsheet. They also live in your phone contacts, your group texts, your neighborhood paths, and your game night traditions. Friendships compound too, and every visit is a deposit.

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Posts in the ROI of Friendship Series:

• Why Your Social Portfolio Is Your Most Surprising Wealth (With research to prove it)
• The Democracy of Friendship & Connection (Anyone willing to invest their time and presence can become relationship wealthy)
• Excercising Your FI Freedom (FI principals allow you to create work-life balance and foster connection)
• The Compound Effect of Showing Up (Just like financial investments, friendship wealth compounds over time. )
• The One Percent Rule Of Relationship Building (The power of tiny consistent actions)
• Coming Soon:
  • Your Social Investment Strategy (So how do you start building friendship wealth?)
  • Enjoying the Journey Through Connection (You don't have to wait until financial independence to benefit from strong relationships)
  • The Surprising Truth About Wealth (It's just a tool for building your Surprising Wealth Life)

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A Bit About Us

Our journey began with humble beginnings. We’ve navigated through the challenges of creating a life and a living we love, while earing low to median incomes. What started as a modest dream of being able to retire someday has turned into a concrete plan. We've been on the SlowFI path, consistently saving and investing for 20+ years. Our income over time has stayed roughly in the 50th percentile, so we are truely everyday Americans. We've achieved remarkable results through living below our means and consistently investing the difference. Now in our mid-40s, we are in the top 20% for U.S. household wealth for our age group. This has been possible through conscious spending, consistent saving, strategic investing, and a commitment to lifestyle design where we spend generously on things that bring us value and contentment, while cuting back on things we are ambivalent about. It can be daunting when you hear the stories of tech workers or doctors or other people with large income shovels. We want to share how an everyday couple with median US income has built wealth for the future, while also creating a life we love today.

Why Financial Independence?

Financial Independence means having the freedom to make choices that aren’t dictated only by the need for a paycheck. It’s about gaining control over your time and energy, and being able to pursue what truly matters to you. For us, it’s about creating time for friend & family, travel, and the experiences that bring joy and fulfillment.

Join Us on the Journey

In January 2021, I ran some calculations, projected our investment growth, and analyzed our current spending levels. After adjusting our spending assumptions for future inflation, I realized we could replace our earned income (trading time for money) with investment income (our money making money for us) in approximately 10 years. With 90 months left to go, we’re solidly on that path and we want you to join us. Whether you're just starting out or well on your way to financial independence, Surprising Wealth is here to support and inspire you. Together, we can make every month count and turn dreams into reality.

Thank you for being a part of our community. Let's embark on this journey to financial independence together!

Disclaimer: All the tips and stories here are from my own journey toward financial independence. Remember, what worked for me might not work for everyone. This content is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as financial, legal, or tax advice. Always consult with a professional before making any significant financial decisions.